Heal your Betrayal Trauma, Empower Yourself, Face Reality, and Discover a New-Found Intimacy and Self-Identity.

Spouses and partners of sexually compulsive and addicted men and women often go through deep pain and shame when the acting out of their spouse becomes known or too unbearable to continue living a life behind a facade of false appearances. Partners and spouses, who experience infidelity and the devastating consequences of affairs, compulsive pornography, or compulsive sexual acting out, can experience trauma and trauma repetition as the feelings of abandonment and broken attachments from childhood are repeated within the cycles of acting out and love avoidance and addiction. You may feel lost, powerless, and alone as you attempt to navigate the crisis within your relationship and family.

At Hopemead, spouses and their partners are approached with compassion, support, and understanding. The journey to heal does not have to be lonely nor confusing.

Couples therapy is supported with a strong and effective therapeutic framework based on treatment models developed by Pia Mellody, Patrick Carnes, John Bradshaw, Peter Levine, John Gottman, Dan Siegel, and David Schnarch. Couples will learn about and understand their inherited family of origin issues, the cycles of shame and pain that promote further acting out or in, how they ended up in their situation, how they can change their behaviors and detrimental cognitive thought processes, and begin to heal the attachment wounds in their relationship, learning new ways to relate and communicate, so that they can begin anew. 

... sooner or later she had to give up the hope for a better past.
— - Irvin D. Yalom, Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death

Spouses Of Sexually Compulsive Men Or Women, Or Spouses, Who Have Experienced Infidelity And The Consequences Of Affairs, Start With Facing Their Codependency Issues And Healing Their Betrayal Trauma.

"The spouse or partner of the sex addict is often defined as being devoted to the addict at the detriment of her/his needs, values, morals, emotions, body, and opinions." Gretchen Hentsch-Cowles, M.S., & Linda Brock, PhD, from The Role of the Partner of the Sex Addict, Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity Journal, 2013.

What are common behaviors of spouses or partners, who experience the negative effects of affairs, infidelity, or compulsive sexual behaviors?

Characteristics behaviors pre-and post-discovery or disclosure include:

  • raging
  • threatening
  • persistent anxiety
  • workaholism
  • Codependency
  • self-harm
  • being obsessively busy
  • keeping up appearances
  • sleeping extended hours
  • shopping
  • overeating or controlling food
  • manipulation
  • self-blame
  • validation seeking
  • snooping
  • policing
  • abusing alcohol
  • being sexually available to the addict
  • denial
  • perfectionism
  • creating chaos/drama
  • super-parenting
  • rationalizing
  • lying

Break free from these behaviors and discover your self-identity and personal healing power. We understand you pain and the journey it takes to heal your wounds. Let us help you find stability, healing, empowerment, and serenity.

How the Brain Interacts Socially