Codependency is a series of symptoms, emotional, somatic, cognitive, and behavioral, that govern a person's life. What are these symptoms and what defines a codependent?
- To have low levels of self-esteem or self-worth, to have grandiosity, or other-esteem.
- To believe that others are better than you.
- To depend on what others believe of you for your sense of self-worth.
- To have your sense of self-worth derive from money, power, employment, career, choice of home or car, friends, social circle.
- To have difficulty setting functional and appropriate boundaries.
- To not know where you begin and where you end, in terms of self-identity.
- To blame others for the unpleasant feelings you are experiencing.
- To expect (sub-consciously perhaps) others to fix your feelings.
- To put yourself last in a relationship.
- To be overly dependent on or independent of others.
- To forgo your needs and wants for the needs and wants of someone else.
- To rescue and enable others in their unhealthy behaviors.
- To depend on someone else in your family for your emotional needs and happiness.
- To ignore your needs and wants, or to confuse them with someone else's.
- To defer your opinions to someone else.
- To ignore and deny our emotional, behavioral, somatic, and cognitive realities.
- To make your spouse/partner your higher power.
- To control people in your family in order to get them to do what you want.
- To have trouble expressing your reality in moderation: communicating in "black or white" terms, polarizing, and being extreme.
A codependent's ultimate fear is to be abandoned and/or intimate with others, and so he/she will do what ever it takes, even at the detriment of the relationship, or at the risk of being harmed physically or emotionally, to avoid this from happening.